Bizzare Cult Invades Whitby!


From Our Media Correspondant,
Lunchtime O' Booze.


Members of a secretive subculture are invading the sleepy seaside resort of Whitby every halloween in increasing numbers. Among the happy-go-lucky hordes of perfectly innocent goths clad in bright pinks and yellows lurks a minority of stern-faced "indiviuals", invariably wearing black. The only other distinguishing features these homogenised masses posses are their video cameras.

I observed a small clan of camera men hanging around Whitby's premiere art gallery. Distracted by the presence of the Mayoress, whom these n'er do wells were attempting to interview, the goths were allowed to enjoy their exhibition in peace. In an open gesture of tolerance, her ladyship was heard to comment that she had no objection to the weekend's activities, so long as none of them were of a "cabalistic" nature.

Taking heart from such a warm and welcoming gesture, I resolved to engage some of these perhaps misunderstood people in conversation. I didn't have long to wait, I soon spied an isolated pair of them in the Elsinore. Although looking lost and cut-off from their fellows, the relaxing gothic atmosphere put them at their ease, and made them quite approachable. The larger of two wore a dark sweater and combat trousers and was brandishing a camera. Just why did they wear so much black ? Slightly defensive at first, he merely muttered something about the "pockets being usefull". Determined to break the ice, I persevered. Did they worry about being associated with arcane and satantic influences such as John Birt ? At this the smaller one nodded vigorously;

"yes, definately, and Blue Peter presenters too".
I was made somewhat uneasy by their morbid fascination with nocturnal events at the abbey, they seemed eager to learn of any dark goings on, perhaps secretly hoping for an invitation. I was happy to set the record straight and disapoint them. Still, both claimed emphatically to have enjoyed the weekend, even though their predatory habits had prevented them from drinking. One even toyed with the idea of returning next year to get a "goth's eye view". Sadly, they then started to take an unhealthy interest in the photographer's digital camera. I made my excuses and left, still hopeful that this marginalised fragment of society may one day gain the acceptance of the good people of Whitby.

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