by Jeff Liebermann
Computers have developed a magical mystique which tends to promote illusions and illogical misunderstandings of the reality surrounding them. Most of these are nicely illustrated in display advertising and marketing hype. These illusions keep an ever growing army of consultants and experts busy reducing the hype into mundane reality. This is how I make the big bucks.
| Illusion | Reality |
| Relaxed IS admin, using laptop at the beach. | Sand in the keyboard. Horrible glare on the LCD screen. No source of nearby power. No phone line. |
| NOS (Network Operations Center) with professional looking IS types, calmly managing the entire planetary Internet from nifty looking 20" screens, in a large room modelled after the Apollo moon landing command centre. | Phones ringing constantly. Boxes all over the floor. Wires running everywhere. Most of the big monitors in the consoles are dead because of rotten ventilation. Two monitors next to each other cause mutual display distortion. Coffee stains everywhere. Sleeping cots piled up in the corner for the usual upgrade events. Nobody wears a necktie. |
| Server farm with neat rows of identical servers, properly laced cables, and KVM switches. | Random assortments of boxes, crammed into every conceivable space. Some are without covers. Wiring is several layers deep with unterminated ends going to indeterminate locations. Colour coding is random. Noise from the fans and drives is deafening. When the power hiccups (and it does), 3000 UPS's all simultaneously beep in one deafening BLEEEEEEEEP! |
| RAID array of disk drives, in a neat cabinet, in a large cabinet, providing the ultimate in reliability. | MTBF for the typical drive guarantees one failure per week for large installations. Few of the cabinets have adequate ventilation. Overheating is a constant problem. Spare drives are almost impossible to find due to frequent model changes. |
| Tastefully designed computer sits on efficient office workers desk to improve productivity. No wires in sight. | Clueless office workers spend most of their time doing battle with the computer. Productivity would be better with a goose quill pen. The typical workstation does little work, and is a rats nest of wires. |
| You can use a PDA anywhere. | You can crash into anything if you do it while driving, walking, jogging, or working. |
| Computers generate more accurate reports faster than ever. | Computers generate incomprehensible garbage, in much larger quantities, that nobody has time to read anyway. |
| Groupware, paper less office and run the company on email. | 50 divergent versions of the contract and buried in paper drafts and reports. Considerable time wasted determining which is the latest version and who owns it. Email is clogged with jokes and spam. |