You know you're too stressed if...

• You can achieve a "runner's high" by sitting up.
• The sun is too loud.
• Trees begin to chase you on the way home from work.
• You can see individual air molecules vibrating around your computer.
• You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.
• You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
• You can hear mimes.
• You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly home.
• Things become "very clear."
• You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you have said it before.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you have said it before.
• You begin speaking in a language that only you and ancient Aztecs can understand.
• You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even though you are the only one in the room.
• Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
• You and Reality file for divorce.
• It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
• You have great revelations concerning:
  Life, the Universe, and Everything else,
  but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.
• You can travel without moving.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you have said it before.
• Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition besides alcohol.
• You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
• You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.
• You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you have said it before.(1)
• Losing your mind was okay, but when the voices in your head quieted, it was like losing your best friend.

contents

(1)You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you have said it before.