1. Thou shalt humble thyself before the tech, or it is you who calleth for help. Thy tech support person is not impressed by thine degree, neither by thine job title, for he has made straight the way of cluefulness.
2. If thou hast sinned against thine operating system, thou shalt confess, for only in confession can the consequenses of thine sins be purged.
3. Thou shalt not berate thine tech, neither shalt thou threaten, for it maketh as much sense as insulting thine brain surgeon.
4. Neither shalt thou assume that since thy tech be of the feminine gender that she is any less of a tech than one of the male gender, and thou shalt listen to her as unto a male tech.
5. Thou shalt be truly grateful that the tech has deemed to answer your prayer and assist you. There exist a multitude of lusers who are truly and properly humble and obedient, and thine attitude is the deciding factor in whether or not the tech truly listens to your plight or merely laughs at you.
6. If thou failest in the least of these commandments, all doors shall be barred to you, all techs shall be informed of your total immunity from cluefulness, and all roads shall become stony and hard. And all pirated software upon your system shall mysteriously become plague-ridden and the proper authorities shall be made aware thereof.

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