1. Describe your problem:
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
4. Problem Severity:
5. Nature of the problem:
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes No
7. Is it turned on? Yes No
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes No
9. Have you made it worse? Yes
10. Have you read the manual? Yes No
11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes No
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No
13. Do you think you understood it? Yes No
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes No
19. How does this problem make you feel?
20. Tell me about your childhood.
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes No
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes
23. What is your e-mail address?
24. What is you given name?
To submit your unworthy problem to the vastly superior illuminated mind of Bob, press this button: However if after filling this form in you realise what a complete waste of Bob's valuable time even looking at your problem would be press this button: .
Of course you should realise that we are all, especially Bob, far too busy doing other things so it's highly unlikely that your query will get answered before whatever is causing your problem is obsolete rendering the question meaningless anyway.
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