It has come to our attention that people in this newsgroup have been selling software with some pretty notorious viruses on them. I wish to warn you about the following.
The virus known as "Windows 95" or "W95". This virus commandeers masses of free memory and makes large areas of your hard drive completely useless whilst it resides on them. It will also create random unnecessary software and hardware conflicts whenever it feels capricious enough to do so.
The virus known as "Windows NT". Acts in a very similar fashion to "Windows '95" but is FAR more dangerous. Corrupts your bank account when it forces you to buy much better and newer components to replace those old ones that the virus manages to compromise completely. Processing speed cut to a minimum, if the computer decides to do anything at all. Users should be aware that they have this virus when they see Bill Gates laughing hysterically as he buys another Pink Stretched Rolls Royce.